I've been feeling good lately. Really pretty fucking good. Gone is the feeling of walking through my day with cement shoes two sizes too big. Even the leash feels looser, longer and more forgiving. There is a kind of bubbly giddy feeling that catches me off guard sometimes. Its a little taste of euphoria, generally without context and with unknown etiology. The fucked thing is that every time it happens, I get to enjoy the feeling for only a moment or two before my brain steps in and... BUZZKILL. My mind quickly draws the contrast between this sensation and the dark slogging feelings that were the status quo until just recently. Hot on the heels of my brain's annoying interference comes the fear. Gripping fear.
I am dancing. I am dancing on the edge of a mirror and it feels good. It feels good and I can't resist checking out my own action, but once I stop and take in my reflection, the spell is broken. Where do I rest my eyes if I can't look back into the darkness, forward into the hazy unknown, or at myself in the mirror?
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